Blackberry Grunt

I'm back. I've realized that blogging, especially topical blogging, is something of a state of mind. You have to be constantly looking for things to put on there or you run out. When school got busy at the end of this semester, I got out of that state of mind. Like I said originally, I'm something of an ingrate. Anyway today I made a blackberry grunt. I had never heard of a grunt before but it's a specific kind of cobbler. Basically imagine chicken and dumplings but instead of chicken and gravy you have blackberries and syrup. It's pretty amazing. Anyway, a small thing to start my return with, but I'm pleased with it.

My wonderful wife

Yes, I've been a bit of a slacker this last weekend. That's life. I'll be as consistent as I can, but there will still be days that I miss. Anyway, this post is about my wife. She's the best. It was her birthday yesterday, so I was going to make this post then, but I figured that she'd rather have me help clean the house and make dinner than have me write a blog post. Actions and words and all that...

So, on to Bonnie. I met her when we both worked at the classical music radio station at BYU. It would be great to say that it was love at first sight and all that, but I don't really work that way. When we met, she'd recently broken up with her boyfriend and had lost some weight. She didn't have any extra weight already, and I remember thinking that she was cute but too skinny. Shortly after we met she went off to London for the summer and I stayed in Provo and kept working. I don't think I ever thought of her, and I'm sure she never thought of me.

When she got back from London, we started talking all the time. Our jobs were not exactly difficult or time intensive, so we had a lot of down time that we could sit around. We quickly realized that we had a lot in common, but nothing really happened for a while because I had been dating another girl who had just gone to Japan. So clearly I was off the market.

I really started to like her and we began hanging out and watching British tv shows. Eventually I got up the courage to ask her out. We went to see "The Flying Dutchman" at Utah Opera. We both got free tickets from our work, so we technically had four tickets between the two of us. I had actually asked something like 5 or 6 other girls to go, but they were all busy, so I called and left a message with Bonnie just a few hours before the opera was going to start. Happily she hadn't gotten anyone to go with her either (because she'd been hoping that I'd ask her).

Pretty much once that snowball started rolling down the hill, it didn't stop and it just kept picking up speed. We officially started dating on October 31st, got engaged in March (though we'd been talking about it since December), and got married in June. Best decision ever.

Bonnie is the best thing in my life. She's pretty and funny. She does an amazing job taking care of our daughter. She's one of the smartest people that I know. She's talented and creative, and is the one that makes my our house worth going home to. I don't know how I'd get through life without her, so today (and yesterday...and really every day) I'm grateful for my wife Bonnie.

Making my wife happy

I've mentioned before that Bonnie and I play computer games together as a way to spend time with each other. We like it because we're playing a game, but we're always cooperating so it doesn't cause disagreements. In addition, it's more interactive than television, so it strikes a nice balance for us. Anyway, her birthday is coming up, so I spent a bunch of in-game gold to buy her this rare mount. It's basically a status symbol, since it doesn't confer any benefit that you can't get somewhere else with much less effort, but it looks really cool. Anyway, I'm grateful today that I got to make my wife happy with a small little thing that didn't cost me anything other than some yellow pixels.

Evening Walks

It was warm enough tonight for Bonnie and I to take Lydia out for a walk. The birds were singing, the sun was setting nicely, and the ducks and geese were swimming in the pond near our house. It was a very nice evening. We may have to make a habit of that. I'm grateful for nights when I'm not at rehearsal and I can slow down and spend some time with my family.

Something like a star

The reviews for Vincent have been coming out, and almost all of them have been positive. They all have one thing or another that they wish had been different, but since each reviewer seems to have different things that they want changed, I'm not too concerned about that. Every time that I'm in a show that gets reviewed, I always think of two things. The first is a story that the opera director at BYU told me. He said that while he was touring with the Goldovsky opera theater, one of his performances got a very bad review. He was talking to Goldovsky about and the man gave him some great advice: "When I get a bad review, I read it and I throw it away. And when I get a good review I read it and I throw it away."

I think that's a healthy attitude to take. Don't ignore criticism and praise, but don't obsess over them either.

The second thing I think about is really just another way of saying that, but it always seems to come to my mind when dealing with reviews or criticism (constructive or otherwise). It's the last bit of Robert Frost's "Choose Something Like a Star."

So when at times the mob is swayed

To carry praise or blame too far,

We may choose something like a star

To stay our minds on and be staid.

That sentiment is particularly fitting for this opera, given that Vincent van Gogh is inextricably linked with stars in our popular culture. I'm grateful for stars, and for people who see profound things in their shining.

External Motivation

The opera is like a great bulldozer. All the things in my life that I'm supposed to get done are just pushed along, with no real progress being made on them. As opening weekend has come and gone, the bulldozer is slowing down. Soon, it will drive away into the distance, leaving a pile of missed deadlines and mediocre efforts that pass for schoolwork. I've been surveying the detritus being shoved upon me, and a part of me definitely considered throwing a rug over it and pretending it didn't exist.

Grades have long since ceased to motivate me. When the bar is set so low, it's difficult to care one way or another. I need a reasonable challenge to get me going, but slogging through old work wasn't sounding very appealing. Happily I married a wonderful person who cares about my success. She got me to get started on my stuff. I'm not through the pile, but I'm chipping away at it, and with a few more nights of this I might even catch up in the next week or so. Yes, carrots and sticks don't work well long term, but as far as I'm concerned, they have their place. So, thank you external motivation: for when you just can't make yourself do it.

Gardens

I found out a few weeks ago that Bloomington has community gardens where you can rent plots and grow your own stuff. Bonnie and I just did that with a couple of our friends, so between the four of us we have 400 sq. feet of ground to grow stuff in. I'm totally excited. Huzzah for gardens!